@stevendbrewer@wandering.shop

"Well…" The Captain started to say.
"Or summons a swarm of red dragons?"
"Look!" the Captain finally snapped. "I said 'conventional' didn't I?"
"But I'm here, aren't I?" the Hero said. "Don't you think I would be of any help?"
"Oh, yes," the Captain said, hurriedly. "Yes! Of course! With the support of the Hero, our defenses are totally impregnable and can #foil *any* attack!"
The Hero grinned, pleased.
"Now, you're talkin'!" (2/2) #wss366

The Captain spread his arms and gestured broadly, taking in the whole of the City's fortifications.
"Yes," he said, proudly. "I believe our defenses are impregnable and can #foil any conventional attack."
The Hero looked concerned.
"But what if an enemy wizard calls down an asteroid to strike the city?"
"Uh…"
"Or creates an earthquake?" (1/2) #wss366

RE: https://weatherishappening.network/@WEATHERISHAPPENING/116919991028762678

I noticed this morning that the sky was a weird yellowish hue and wondered if maybe there was smoke. Thank goodness for WEATHERISHAPPENING to keep me informed about the weather lords and current state of our death spiral!

RE: https://hachyderm.io/@theonlyvenc/116917769407662348

There's something profoundly ironic about that fact that this website has a giant, animated dickover that is uncloseable until you scroll, and then displays a transparent button with white text that says, "Hide Forever…". Makin' it shitty!

The Captain of the Holy Order of Knights gave the Hero a tour of the city's defenses. They walked along the curtain wall as he pointed out the fortifications.
"There are towers at the corners and, in the middle, we have constructed bastions."
"Is this one?" asked the Hero.
The Captain indicated that it was.
"Is this the 'last #bastion'?"
"It could be," the Captain said. "But it could also be the first bastion. It depends on which way the enemy attacks from."
"Good point!" the Hero said. #wss366

Tanuki-chan loves to chase the squeaky ball. She always brings it back — but only to play keep away. #DogsOfMastodon

Once they were inside and had assembled in the Great Room for cocktails, he began to dump the can of gasoline through the hole he'd drilled over the front door.
"Do you hear that?" one of the men said. Then they all began to shout as the odor of the gasoline spread through the building. They ran to the windows to try to escape.
He grinned, having spent the afternoon carefully nailing shut all of the windows.
He took a deep breath, struck a match, and was immolated by the fireball. (2/2) #wss366

He waited in the dark loft of the #lodge for the hunters to return. Voices outside and the rattle of the lock prompted him to hold his breath.
The men came in cheerfully, laughing about the hunt and joking about the surprised expressions of the prey as they were gunned down at long range.
Rich executives paid a small fortune — pocket change for them, but enough to provide a lifetime of comfort to any ordinary person — for the thrill of hunting people. (1/2) #wss366

Nothing is better than fresh chili on a hot day.

I tried doing this survey, but I couldn't finish it: https://www.hardtolovetest.com

A bunch of the questions were like, "Some stranger starts talking to you…" and I'm like, "When does that ever happen?"

Finally, a question was "a newish friend texts you," and I just shook my head and closed the window. I haven't had a "newish friend" in years.

I don't know what the survey would have said, but I suspect it would have said I'm not only hard to love, I'm pretty damned unlikeable too.

#WritersCoffeeClub In what ways do you play with the limits of the genre in which you work?

I mostly write cross-genre works (steampunky with no steam; fluffy, military space opera; dark, cozy fantasy; sapphic, romantasy, roadstory). An editor asked what the genre was of a short story I wrote. The story is about a young man — obviously delusional — who believes himself possessed by a ghost that can speak with his mouth. I told the editor, "I guess it depends on whether you believe in ghosts."

The fragments eventually led me to write a novelette, *Bearly Believable*, that's currently out for submission.

#ScribesAndMakers Has a bear ever featured in your work? If so, what sort of bear?

I wrote a series of story fragments about two non-human biological androids, one that looks like an owl and the other that looks like a gigantic bear, who work together in a picnic park on the planet Volpex. The owl menaces people who litter while the bear runs a fire-safety program. The bear looks like a Kodiak brown bear who smokes Vulpex cigarettes. Their foil is a mischievously curious girl named Brunhilde.

The Exhibit A Brewery has moved to Williamsburg. They're having a soft open today (and didn't have the DIPA I like), but they have an immense tap room and beer garden. And they're co-located with GrandTen distillery, so good cocktails too. It's a bit of a drive, but I can see it's going to be a regular destination for us. #WesternMass

"They must have been pretty warped to have that locket," the Saintess said.
"The paintings didn't seem that…" the Hero started to say, then caught the Saintess' expression.
"Yes!" he exclaimed. "You're right. Very warped!"
They walked on in silence. (3/3) #wss366

He considered saying, "Your heart-shaped birthmark is cute." But he rejected it: too creepy, especially given the placement of the birthmark.
He rejected several other conversational gambits, but eventually said, "I wonder who that was in the coffin." (2/3) #wss366

The Hero and Saintess walked back through the Forbidden Forest in silence. The Hero struggled with himself. One the one hand, he enjoyed the peace and quiet but he recognized that the Saintess was subdued and uncomfortable. He tried to think of something neutral to say. (1/3) #wss366

I spent a few hours today with Werner Hertzog. Or with his book, anyway. https://stevendbrewer.com/review-the-future-of-truth/

I sent this picture to @philipbrewer with the caption, "I am reading in tent ly."

He was not amused.

She stirred for a moment and then her eyes sprang open. She clapped one arm across her chest and the other hand over her nether regions.
"Ugh! What a nasty, perverted spectre! Do you know what it said to me?"
The Hero shook his head.
"It said… It said…" she began, then she stopped, reddening. "Never mind. Would you turn around while I clothe myself?" (3/3) #wss366