North Star Comments

Last night, Alisa, Daniel, and I were invited to speak briefly at a dinner for the North Star Board to thank donors. After the dinner, the director selected people to speak. The first was a young woman who has been doing activism rather than high school: she spent a year at North Star, but has subsequently been doing internships and volunteer work, including spending a summer in Washington and winning a prestigious local award. Then it was Daniel's turn. Poor Daniel had to admit that he hadn't won any prestigious awards or gotten involved in important projects, but that he had been very unhappy in school and was much happier in North Star and much more confident that he was going in the right direction. Then it was my turn.

In the summer before 7th grade, Daniel talked to me about not wanting to continue with school and looking for other options. But since he'd only gone to a small elementary school, I suggested giving 7th grade a try to see how it was. And so he did. But the school really wasn't a good fit.
At the first parent teacher conference -- we got about 15 minutes with someone who was in a rush to tell us all the things he wanted to do to our child -- the first thing he said was, "We can see Daniel's going to be a tough nut to crack." We were horrified and I said, "But I don't want Daniel cracked. I want him to be engaged with his learning." The teacher, said, "No, no. That's not what I meant." But it was. That was exactly what he meant. The school really didn't know what to do with a kid like Daniel.
Our experience was that Daniel would get assigned about 3 hours of homework a night. And the work was not interesting or engaging -- it was almost entirely these mind-killing worksheets -- pure drudgery. When he got home from school, he would do anything to avoid thinking about school so when I got home from work at 6, I basically had a choice: I could stand over him with a stick to make him do his homework or not. I mostly chose not to do that.
When Daniel would go to school, the teachers would ask, "Where's your homework?" And Daniel would say, "I chose not to do it, because it didn't look like it was worth my time." And they really had no idea what to do with a kid like that. School was just not a good fit.
North Star has been wonderful for Daniel. His real passion is writing. Even in elementary school, Daniel started writing -- mostly fantasy -- and has written tens of thousands of words. And North Star gives him the support and flexibility to explore new ideas and focus on the things he really wants to do. We've been grateful for the opportunities that North Star provides.

The third speaker was a young woman who recently arrived from Washington State who loves art. She took one look at the high school and North Star and said, "That's where I want to go."
I'm genuinely impressed with the results that North Star produces with kids. Once you stop trying to be controlling and directive -- and give kids real choices and power, they rise to the occasion and become fully-fledged participants in the process -- and their own lives. I've known that and believed it for years, but it's wonderful to actually see it in action.